A Major Mommy Phase

We are currently in the midst of a major mommy phase. When Ellie started showing the signs towards the end of February (right before Brian left for his ski trip) I decided against mentioning it on the blog, mostly hoping it would work itself out. Besides, putting something on paper (or blog as the case may be) makes it real, right? I joked with Brian that his week-long absence would do nothing to help the situation, and here we are nearly two months later with no end in sight of my new found attention from Ellie.

Ellie's never been a very clingy girl, and by clingy I mean needing to be in my presence or attached to me 24/7. Even over the course her time breastfeeding, she never really went for those marathon nursing sessions you sometimes read about -- it seemed that as soon as she got what she needed she was ready to, ahem, detach and get on with her life. Could it be a result of her NICU days? Who knows. Suffice it to say she's fiercely independent and makes this trait well known, so I have always cherished the rare moments when she's lingered for a cuddle. That's not to say she doesn't love our hugs and kisses, she's just not one to stick around for too many before bouncing off to do her own thing.

Sadly (for me), this isn't the kind of mommy phase where Ellie showers me with affection and love -- it's the kind that rears its ugly head whenever Ellie barely, just barely, hurts herself or is being told to do something she would rather not. At first it started with a trip, fall or stub of the toe: Ellie would start saying "See Mama! See Mama!" over and over until I came to her aid, even for the most minor occurrence. It quickly escalated to the point where, never mind the fact that Brian was right next to her, she would still yell "See Mama!" until she saw me. Now, we hear "See Mama!" almost every time Brian takes her to time out when she's misbehaved, upstairs for a bath, in the bath itself while having her hair washed or if she's generally not getting her way. I really feel bad for Brian because unfortunately it happens most often after he gets home from work and on the weekends. It's exhausting for both of us.

A new level of ridiculousness was reached when I picked her up after she really had hurt herself and, while in my arms, she wailed "See Mama! SEE MAMA!!" Her use of that (now cursed in this house) phrase has somewhat ebbed in the last week, but I'm not holding my breath that we've seen the end of her "See Mama!" phase just yet.

When her cries are truly warranted of course I scoop her into my arms and kiss those tears away, but most of the time I gently tell Ellie to pick herself up, brush herself off and then ask if she wants to read a book. Assuming this phase is completely normal (right?) I'm thinking it should wear off when she's, say, in her early twenties -- sooner if we're lucky! Then again this is nothing compared to what awaits us in the teen years when her heartbreak over lost love or learning the lessons of life's other hardships will be far more visceral than a stubbed toe or time out could ever be and in those times, as always, I will be with her every step of the way. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

In an effort to keep my sanity, I've been talking to my mom and bless her heart she's listened to every gripe, complaint and break down about Ellie's mommy phase whenever I call her (every day) and... oh dear, maybe it's genetic.